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2014 Sign Off

Thanks for reading.

See you next year.

Congratulations to Mendoza on the repeat; here’s hoping next year will be different.

If you’re not in Mendoza’s basketball league, he needs at least one more.

World Series Prediction: Montreal Expos Washington Nationals over California no Anaheim no Los Angeles Angels.

So it can be done, then.

We’re not going to mouth any results–oh, fuck it, let’s mouth them: Mendoza’s won this thing. Up 10-4 in the final with two days to go against the least-bad of two horrid teams in the other semifinal, only a choke of ’87 Jays proportions could change that. No, I’m not using any single bungled-baseball-play as metaphor (although those three errors on the one play the Dodgers committed a couple weeks back is tempting). This isn’t a one-play thing with Mendoza; it would be a complete collapse.

But I digress.

I wanted to point out that Mendoza can be 11th at the end of April and win the league.

Shaggy can be 12th in July, and reach the final.

Their teams had problems, but they went out and fixed them. And here they are.

This league needs more activist owners. The guys who don’t show up at the draft, don’t trade, don’t post, and are content to just prop up the rest of the standings are dead weight. Mendoza and Shaggy have shown they’re never out of it until it’s actually finished. More people should play the same way.

Bear Propaganda

100529409-bear-scratchin-nose-gettyp.240x160     This is fairly shameful stuff. But you knew that.

“If you’re being chased/attacked by a bear, roll over and play dead.” We’ve all heard that advice, but how many of us have actually used it? How do you know that that’s not just propaganda fed to us by hungry, angry bears who just want an easier maul?

You don’t.

I played dead yesterday then, leaving two starters in good match ups on the bench to stream eight scrubs today to try to steal QS. Of course I paid for it short term (2 QS, 0 ER) and I’ll likely pay for it long term as the computations say I’m a 50/1 dog to win this matchup with Mendoza.

The alternative was to run my guys yesterday and have them pitch well enough that Mendoza sucks up all today’s soft-tossers… not necessarily to run them all, but to plop them on his bench. And I’m 50/1 or worse.

If I’d known that Greinke and Teheran would have been that dominant, I likely should have thrown them regardless, and given Mendoza a headache this morning. I might have been 15/1. The danger was a non-QS performance or worse from either guy, tipping Mendoza off, and looking at 200/1.

No matter what I did, I was exceptionally unlikely to win, but I thought I took the best bad option. I’ve been thoroughly beaten this week and don’t deserve to win regardless.

Blog For Sale: $2B.

As you know, we thrive on controversy here at GCBL blog. We’ve even gone back and found a post that was mildly derogatory toward Hobbits. So we’ve decided to put the blog up for sale. It’s the right thing to do. The best thing for the league. For all people everywhere, whether you’re Dave, or, well, vertically challenged.

In a completely unrelated matter, Atlanta Hawks owner Bruce Levenson will put the Hawks up for sale after finding an e-mail he himself sent two years ago that noted that his fan base was 70% black. This will not be Levenson’s first attempt to sell the team. In 2011, a sale fell through to a billionaire pizza magnate. (“Probably some Eye-talian,” Levenson didn’t add.)

In an absolutely unrelated matter, LA slumlord Donald Sterling told his hooker gf not to bring black people to Clippers games, and sold the Clippers for $2B last month, roughly 4X market value.

So yeah, um, it’s just best for the league if I sell the blog for $2B. Make the Sterling-style cheque out to my wife, name spelled S-v-e-t-l-a-n-a.

And before any of you chirp in the comments that “if I sold the blog for 4X market value I’d be giving it away for $0″, why don’t you fuck off instead?

Levenson here:

Mailbag: Not for Attribution

I’ve had an interesting exchange with an owner in recent days. I’m going to summarize his thoughts below. The claims are a little controversial. He’s welcome to clarify/own them if he likes but for now I’m putting his thoughts into my words to try to protect his identity if he doesn’t want it revealed. This isn’t the Ayatollah, or Janet Cooke and “Jimmy’s World“, it’s the real thing — but I’m going to rephrase a few points. Here we go:

“Dave is out of control. He can’t say [CL's] name without foaming at the mouth. He’s calling for Nookie to get kicked out of the league and it puts [Mendoza] in a tough spot.

“Nookie’s not just hitting the ‘Accept’ button now. He’s pushing back against Dave. He’s getting better. I don’t know if Dave can handle that. And Nookie’s deals have put him in the playoffs. Dave didn’t do shit but watch his own team fall apart.

“I think Mendoza wants to encourage trading. Suppose he boots Nookie. That gives all the power to Dave. So, the next time Dave sees a trade he doesn’t like, Dave will think ‘well, if I make enough noise, I can get this guy booted too.’ What happens then?”

[GCBL Blog Comment: So it’s almost like Dave becomes some sort of Super-Commisioner… none of the work, none of the day to day hassle, but all the ultimate authority. Here are some more of the guy’s thoughts:]

“What Dave doesn’t understand, what a few of them don’t understand, is that trades are never even. They’re just not. But they can still help both teams. It’s like in football. If I’ve got four stud RB and no tight end, I might have to trade a 1200 yd., 8 TD RB for a 600 yd. 4 TD TE, because that RB is sitting anyway and my own TE isn’t doing shit. But that trade isn’t numerically ‘even’, so people get all pissed off.”

[GCBL Blog Comment: TESTIFY! Here’s more:] 

“Something else about baseball is this. You’ve got some guy who started the season 0-for-50. You’re fucking sick of looking at him. You want to trade him. Well, I’ll trade for him. I’ll give you 75 cents on the dollar. I know he’s not going 0-for-500. Fuck! If he keeps slumping awhile, that’s what I have to live with. But Dave looks at O-Rank and gets all mad that it’s supposedly not even.

 “Dave’s been doing this for years. It’s getting old. It’s gotta stop.”

[GCBL Blog comment to close: Nobody should have to leave the league. I actually think the way to make this shit go away is for Mendoza to process trades more quickly so that bad feelings don’t get a chance to whip up. But if Mendoza wants to let stuff steep overnight, while that’s his prerogative, Dave needs to be put in his place. This is year 4 of this shit.

It should also be said that Dave’s outrage is embarrassingly selective. When Frodo picks up a first-round stud for a bag of baseballs, Dave doesn’t do dick.]

Ron Washington Resigns as Rangers Manager for “Personal, Off-Field Matter”


More on The Trade

Yes I thinkI modestly got the best of it given what’s going on at SP/1B (and I can’t think either side is that much better than the other: I did let Shaggy pick either side). Yes I’m hoping for early first round picks. But even if Shaggy just traded me Trout, #28, and #29 overall, in a way this works for him as well.

Never mind my increased concentration of injury risk. In preparing for the draft, just as I no longer need to look at anybody O-Ranked 45-110, Shaggy can forget about analyzing anybody O-Ranked 1-35. Will Tulo be O-Ranked 4 or 34? Doesn’t matter to Shaggy–barring a trade back up the ladder, Shaggy ain’t seeing him.

Shaggy also has the best seat at the table to service the risk-averse, offering a 4, 5, and 6, let’s say, for somebody’s #1. This is of no consequence to me. Risk is my life. Every day I find myself forced to bet against my clientele, even if I have no opinion on the game. I carry risk and I live with it. But somebody else might say “you know, instead of counting on Giancarlo Stanton, I think I’d like Jaysomn Werth, and Christian Yelich, and Josh Harrison”. Shaggy can cater to that market’s needs. I can’t.

Let’s see how we go.

Extra Bags, Obscure Lingo Edition:, which is Canada’s pale copy of, has a new website called “BarDown”. I think it’s supposed to be its own pale copy of Grantland or Sports on Earth or whatever. I guess I’m just old but does anyone even know what the fuck “BarDown” even means? Is it some sort of hip hop bullshit? I guess I don’t really need to know, but if anyone’s got the answer please post it. (It’s a shit site by the way. Writers trying too hard to be cool, nothing more.) 


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