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Takes more than a 105mph line drive to stop Taillon.

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It will slow him down for a minute or two.

But he stayed in and threw five more frames.

http://deadspin.com/jameson-taillon-takes-105-mph-line-drive-to-head-stays-1783943948

 

Bat Weights, and the Baiting of DAVID

Went out with Mendoza and Dutch Boy last night for the All-Star game to that place where the beer is flat but the barmaids aren’t. Bit of a drag as with Dutch Boy in last or whatever we couldn’t really talk fantasy baseball, so the two of them talked about their slob-ball teams all night. So-and-so is batting .820 with a 2.650 OPS. So-and-so had a baby. Well whoopdey-do.

I checked out entirely when Dutch Boy started arguing that a 27-ounce bat is heavier than a 33-ounce bat “because it has a one-ounce load”. Thinking to myself, Ok, so it’s a 28 ounce bat? How is that heavier than a…?, I drifted toward the big screen while Mendoza tried to explain the concept of weight to our dim companion.

I did check back in for a discussion of the demise of the GCBL chatbox and Mendoza’s shocking confession that he uses the Commish Note to bait DAVID into getting agitated and responding. This is shocking not in that he does it. I think it’s common knowledge that every word in the Commish Note is carefully chosen and edited. What is shocking is that he admitted it when this desk gets abuse at least annually from Mendoza for pulling the same shit.

There was further talk about bringing Frodo back into the league next year. There was no talk of asking Frodo if he knows what an “ounce” is.

Can-Am Cup at the All-Star Break

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USA led Canada 303-302 after Week 12.

Week 13

Mendoza 8, Slumpy 6

DAVID 9, Assclowns 4

This completes one spin through the league. Canada leads 319-313.

Week 14

Saget 7, Uppercut 6

DAVID 7, Coach 5

Canada leads 333-324 after Week 14.

Mendoza–Shagsters trade

Mendoza gives: Michael Saunders, Nomar Mazara, Drew Pomeranz

Shagsters gives: Jose Bautista, Carlos Carrasco

Live Commentary via messenger:

Shawn Y:

Look at you, trading with bottom-licker

Nice job geting Carlos Carrasco liberated from Dutch Boy

+1 (902) xxx-xxxx:

I think I did pretty good trading two waiver guys and a 30 round pick.

 

Yes folks, yes he did. And he processed it pretty fast. This desk can only surmise that this deal was The Rest Of The Payola for the awful ripoff of DAVID that Shaggy perpetrated early in the season.

Either that, or it’s been 4:20 at Shaggy’s house all day long.

In one fell swoop Mendoza is once again the team to beat, and whatever hope Shaggy had has, well, gone up in smoke.

I must react. If anyone wants a Korean rapist, get in touch.

GCBL PSA: For the casual readers, “Korean Rapist” refers to Jung-Ho Kang, who I’m rostering, NOT Saget. We have a lot of Korean content on this blog and it’s imperative not to get it confused.

 

This one’s for Saget: The Evil of the Dodger Dog

I’m actually surprised hippies don’t do this more often, and, in LA, they don’t get crowned like Rodney King:

http://screengrabber.deadspin.com/dodgers-game-interrupted-by-hot-dog-hating-idiots-1783059773

Bored on the Fourth of July

Thankfully. Saget sent through some more cow shots. More camping and political incorrectness  after the jump. “Here, even the cows are redneck.”

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Read more…

Movin’ on Up?

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Just like our boy George Jefferson above (ouch, I can’t say ‘boy’ there, can I?) we’ve had the privilege of gettin’ fat this week while taking Jose to the Cleaners. With the unbalanced schedule one of this league’s quirks, you may ask yourself “Do I have easy weeks against the league’s worst teams to make up that ground on CL?” and we’re here to tell you.

Here’s who has games left against Jose and Dutch Boy after this week:

Gets to play both Jose and Dutch Boy: Shaggy, Saget, DAVID

Just Jose: Cash Bail, Nookie, Assclowns, Coach

Just Dutch Boy: Mendoza, CL, Crow, Slumpy

Gets Neither Again: Uppercut

Enjoy your free weeks if you’ve got’em.

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