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Smoking the Peacepipe. Well, smoking Something…

May 30, 2014

Our club’s been trying to extend an olive branch to Burger. Well, I’m trying to placate an exasperated Mendoza and “move that shit” to my auction league. (Wait for Monday’s Commish Note over there kids… just wait.) In GCBL, it’s time for better things. So of course we thought the best shot at a Kum-bah-yah session in GCBL would be to get Jose Reyes on to Burger’s team. Initial moves in that direction failed earlier this week as he wanted to do Springer-for-Reyes, and I was looking to give him Reyes-plus for Goldschmidt.

The missus knows a lot about the Cold War (she doesn’t like when I repeatedly ask her who won it…) and she said that there might be sufficient bad blood between me and Dave that, if I was wanting to do something nice, it might need to be done through the good offices of a third party. A well meaning, fantasy baseball, Switzerland or Sweden. Shaggy fits the bill here, as he and Dave are mates in real life and if anybody can pull off a trade, c’mon, it’s fucking Shaggy.


Well, um, apparently not. When I tried to send Reyes to Shaggy to get the ball rolling, Shaggy replied:

“Dave won’t trade shit to me. It’s hell on earth dealing with him and I actually have a ban on fantasy sports being discussed between us because he drove me that insane over this league.”

Wow. So I asked him if he could give me a toned-down, nuanced, on-the-record version in the interests of bringing everyone a lot of understanding and a little Zen via the Blog. What came back:

“Use it…because [redacted–Ed].”


So here’s what I’m going to do. Auction League is going full 2-Live-Crew-Mode (that’s “Nasty as You Wanna Be”, not “Me So Horny” or “Banned in the USA”) but in our league I’m turning over a new leaf. From now on, I’m going to be the best league-mate I can possibly be. Well, that’s too big an ask. So for the rest of the season I’m going to be a force for all that’s harmony. OK, OK. I’m going to make an honest effort to be a decent human being  til All-Star Break. Seriously. This is the best league I’m in, and I’m going to make an effort. This will likely disappoint Murray horribly, but life’s full of disappointments, Son.

Let’s see how I do. Hold me accountable!


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