Skip to content

Waiting for Polanco

June 6, 2014

Vladimir: If the Buccos don’t call Polanco up today, I’ll surely kill myself.

Estragon: As will every Bucs fan.

Vladimir: I can’t believe what I saw Wednesday.

Estragon: You mean the Padres beating the Bucs 3-2, with the Friars only getting one hit, a bunt single at that? 

Vladimir: That’s for the stat heads. I mean one of the runs the Padres scored…a sac fly…to second base?

Estragon: That was the right fielder’s ball. Harrison had no business calling the right fielder off. His momentum carried him another 20 feet away from the plate, no wonder Denorfia tagged. Don Zimmer could have tagged and scored.

Vladimir: Zimmer. We knew him well.

Estragon: A lifer. As we watched Fisk’s ball clear the Monster, it…

Vladimir: Actually, that was a Boston newspaper’s error. He only became manager in 1976.

Estragon: Ah. As we watched Bucky Dent’s ball clear the…

Vladimir: That’s enough.

Estragon: Too much. Now, he lies in wait for Pedro. Everyone’s waiting for somebody.

Vladimir: Did you see Curacao Littleleague has put Jose Abreu up for trade?

Estragon: I think his wife made him. Abreu is a traitor to…

Vladimir: … la Revolucion?

Estragon: Si.

Vladimir: Gausman starts for Saget tomorrow.

Estragon: He has been waiting for Gausman for so long.

Vladimir: But now he has arrived. And it is foretold he is a stud.

Estragon: A stud forced to pitch in the AL East.

Vladimir: Indeed, if I was going ‘Bolus’, I’d be going National League.

Estragon: The Senior Circuit.

Vladimir: Or the Senior Circuit, yes.

Estragon: The NL is the “Senior Circuit”.

Vladimir: What does it mean to be senior?

Estragon: What does it mean to be anything?

Vladimir: Well, if you’re a penguin in Tampa Bay, it means you’ll be visiting the Rays dressing room.

Estragon: Which is odd, as they’re already plenty cold. Have you seen Longoria’s productivity skid?

Vladimir: I think they’ll be selling. What price Price?

Estragon: I don’t know. Prospects. The Buccos have plenty of prospects. 7 in Baseball America’s top 100–not including Polanco.

[A boy arrives.]

Boy: Polanco will not be called up today. Perhaps, tomorrow.

Vladimir: Take off your belt, Estragon.

Estragon: Are you going all Saget on me?

Vladimir: No I’m going to hang myself.

Estragon: The belt won’t hold. And my pants will fall down.

Vladimir: Tomorrow, I’ll bring strong rope.

Estragon: And we will still be waiting for Polanco.


From → Uncategorized

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: