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Where the Hell is Feature of the Week?

June 23, 2014

While we’re waiting, as most of you know I have a soft spot for minor league sports and particularly their promotional events, having unwittingly helped put an indoor soccer team into insolvency. Hats off then to the Indians A-affiliate Lake Country Captains, who are holding an Appreciation Night for NCAA Poobah Mark Emmert. Emmert derisively dismissed minor league sports at the ongoing O’Bannon trial, saying minor league sports were unsuccessful in terms of popularity and fan experience . So the the minor league Captains want to offer him a hearty “go fuck yourself” at the game on July 2. From SI, via Craig Calcaterra at Hardball Talk, the night includes:


  • Presumably in acknowledgement of the questionable academic standards that student athletes face at some universities, all fans who attend the game and do nothing but stay until the third inning will receive credit towards a future Captains game of their choice. They will receive this benefit, as the Captains release puts it, “just for showing up.”
  • The NCAA just recently ruled to allow athletes to have unlimited meals, so the Captains will give four college students an All-You-Can-Eat wristband and tickets to a future game.
  • Fans will be allowed to “transfer” seats, after a one inning waiting period, of course.
  • Among the prizes distributed will be “one and done” player basketball cards and copies of college football and basketball video games — both of which are sore subjects for the NCAA.
  • Copies of Undue Process – The NCAA’s Injustice For All will be distributed to select attendees.
  • Fans who take part in in-game promotions will not be awarded any prizes for their efforts, but one of them will be crowned that evening’s BCS (BigCaptains Superstar) Champion via a subjective vote taken by members of the media and a computerized scoring algorithm.
  • And this is probably the best one: “Fans who wear their ‘generic’ college jersey that may or may not correspond to a famous athlete who may attend the same college may be awarded by a visit from a Captains Booster who greets them with a $100 handshake.”



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