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Sawx Recall Eminently Quotable Steven Wright.

August 3, 2014

Just a taste:

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

Edited to add:  Oh shit. Not that Steven Wright. Some knuckleballer from the high minors.



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One Comment
  1. Copper permalink

    He’s awesome.

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