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Could we ban Reds in Pittsburgh, Commies or Otherwise? Could we shoot ’em?

January 15, 2015

From the love of another sport. Bainbridge is a suburb of Seattle:

Executive Order 121212 – Banning Cheese Possession and Consumption in City Hall on Friday, January 16, 2015

By the authority vested in me as City Manager of the City of Bainbridge Island, Kitsap County, Washington, by the Revised Code of Washington and the Bainbridge Island Municipal Code, it is hereby ordered as follows:

Section 1. All executive branch departments and divisions of the Local Government shall authorize employees to celebrate Blue Friday on each Friday prior to any games of the Seattle Seahawks by wearing Seahawks jerseys, logo gear, team colors and gathering at lunch or breaks for tailgating type foods and non-alcoholic beverages.

Section 2. On Sunday, January 18, 2015, the Seattle Seahawks opponent in the NFC Championship game will be the Green Bay Packers, a.k.a. Cheeseheads. Fans of the Green Bay Packers are frequently seen wearing obnoxious wedge-shaped foam hats painted yellow.

Section 3. Due to the relationship between the Green Bay Packers, their fans, and cheese, the possession of and/or consumption of cheese or cheese flavored products shall be banned in Bainbridge Island City Hall on Friday, January 16, 2015.

Section 4. The Director of each Department shall take such actions as may be necessary to implement this order.

Section 5. General Provisions. (a) Nothing in this order shall be construed to impair or otherwise affect:

(i) The authority granted by law to an executive department or agency, or the head thereof; or

(ii) The functions of the Director of any Department, or the head thereof; or

(b) This order shall be implemented consistent with applicable law and subject to the availability of appropriations.

(c) This order is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the City of Bainbridge Island, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.

[Thanks to Robert Dittmer & the Volokh Conspiracy website for finding this. VC is the best blog going on American Constitutional law. This Executive Order is not guaranteed to be constitutional in nature. The cleverest bit of this order almost escaped me: check out the numbering.]

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