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Mailbag: Risking the Wrath of Saget?

May 7, 2015



You picked up Kang?  Aren’t you worried about Saget backlash?

Landfill Emperor

Dear Trash Boy,

Shawn is no longer running this team. After he stumbled out of the gate against The Girl, I couldn’t watch his ineptitude any more, so I took over. I might let him continue to run Nookie’s team, I haven’t made up my mind, but we’re going to be doing things differently on the flagship franchise. I’m not quite sure how I find all the hours in the day to do this, between making Putin my bitch over Victory Day celebrations and dunking over Dennis Rodman, but it’s a living.

In, then, not only Kang Jung-Ho, but also Choo Shin-Soo. Choo jacked the first day we got him (look it up) after I adjusted his swing, but idiot Shawn left him on the bench of course (look that up too).

Out, then, Junichi Tazawa who aside from being Japanese is fucking Japanese. Not onlky that, he’s given up three dingers already and did I mention he’s Japanese.

To answer your question  about Saget, I couldn’t care less. He can kiss my ample arse. Saget is half-Korean, which means his plans are only half-baked. Sure, he may have broken up with a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or both in his past. But did he have the foresight to have the army machine-gun his lover’s whole family as the final kiss-off? I seriously doubt it.

What’s he going to do? Put fluoride in my water? We don’t even have toothpaste in the DPRK.

That is all,

Kim Jong-Un


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