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Mailbag: Why is Shaggy Crying?

May 8, 2015

Hi CL,

Just as I think I get this league figured out, everything turns upside down again.

Shaggy, Master of the Shit Trade Offer, puts on his Big Boy Pants and offers you a deal that’s almost fair. (I still think he got the better of it, but not by a full mile). You take it, and he starts going on “What was I thinking?” and how he ripped himself off and Noah Syndergaard’s on waivers and etc. on the chatbox last night.

So what the hell is this? Is this his new schtick? Did he really outsmart himself? What’s going on?


Dear Confused,

I thought I was as confused as you are, but I figured it out.

Shaggy’s been coming after Pence since the day after the draft, and he was even trying to trade for Salazar after he got shipped to AAA. He got who he wanted very cheaply, too. Michael Brantley’s pretty good, Jason Werth was good five years ago. He threw in Roberto Osuna, whoever that is. I looked up Osuna in my book that has everybody’s high-minors stats. Osuna played some Mexican league, which is graded AAA, in 2011, but that’s it. Turns out he’s on the Jays, but anybody can pitch for the Jays. Maybe he started the season as the professional batting practice pitcher. Such jobs exist. Like I said, I was as confused as you are.

OK, not anymore. I agree with you this trade is lopsided in Shaggy’s favour, but I think part of his plan is to try to shift that perception, so he’s not immediately in the penalty box and can try to make another shady deal elsewhere. I instinctively offered to cancel the deal if he felt genuine buyer’s remorse, but that’s just me. I want my trade partners happy, so I can trade with them again someday. Of course Shaggy didn’t actually have buyer’s remorse, because he was all to eager to keep the deal. It was all an act.

Kind of sad, really.

Oh well,



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One Comment
  1. Shaggy permalink

    Another instance of you shaping the conversation to suit your twisted mind. The “what was I thinking” comment was a sarcastic response to your Osuna comment. I know you are still learning sarcasm but you’ll get there. Watch ” Big Bang Theory” and it may help. Sheldon gets tips all the time. And you were trying to make a claim that you were cutting through the bullshit when really you were still offering bullshit deals but I came back with a fair one.

    Once again, learn to keep up with the conversation…seems you are usually the one lagging when we are talking with words and not numbers.

    PS I think our trade works for both teams unlike that scumbag Copp who actually offered me money to accept an offer but I denied it for the integrity of the league. You didn’t hear that from me…

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