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Jose Responds to Q&A

June 7, 2015

1. How do you like the look of your team so far? 

     No. I am cursed (thats fancy for “sucks ass at”) at fantasy.

2. Do you think you’ll make the playoffs? 

     Of course I will miss playoffs. Fantasy gods hate me because I banged their daughter Caitlyn in the basement. 

3. What are your team’s strengths? 

     I am numero uno in pitching, I draft pitchers well. 

4. What are your team’s weaknesses? 

     Hitting and health. I think my hitting would be bit better with less injuries. No great improvement mind you but maybe 1-2 spots. I can’t see hitting talent for shit.

 5. Do you think you can fix the weaknesses on the wire, or would you prefer to trade? 

     I would like to think trade but fuck tards like you turn down my perfectly fair trade. The wire lotto it will be. 

6. Does anybody else’s team stand out as strong to you? 

     Not really. No ones pitching scares me, but Slumpy and your hitting will crush me. 

 7. Anything else on your mind? (Anything at all?) 

    Next year I will have 9yr old nephew run my team, I am predicting large improvement. 

[Editor’s Note: We usually just-print-these, grateful for content, but here’s one shot at clarifying up the ‘fucktard’ comment: Jose offered us Freddie Freeman in return for Michael Brantley. This desk doesn’t dispute that the offer was ‘fair’ but we found it unhelpful. We don’t need any more 1B. To wit, we have Abreu, V-Mart coming back next week, and double-eligibles Carter, Posey, and Cervelli who can cover in a pinch. OF, on the other hand, has been an issue and we’ve spent most of the season trying to get more of it (like Brantley) rather than trade it away. Even after acquiring Cutch on Friday, we’re still rostering Seth Smith and Kevin Pillar. Kevin Fucking Pillar. Think about that. 

We totally understand you live in a sprawling asphalt dystopian urban shithole where the only thing worth looking at is the road out of town. But open your eyes and look at your trading partner’s roster.]


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