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The Meeting 2016 (I)

May 13, 2016

Well it was time for our annual meeting with Dutch Boy to try to help him fix his team. Speaking only for myself and not Mendoza, this writer left a little disappointed. Now in his fifth season in the league, Dutch Boy still does get the underlying principles any more than Chapman did, the guy Dutch Boy effectively replaced.

When you’re getting humped week after week you need to make a move. Trades, the wire, whatever. If what you have isn’t working, you need to do something. It’s a redraft league, so what the fuck. Dutch Boy doesn’t get it. As we sat down, Dutch Boy was rostering Yonder Alonso and a real life-backup middle infielder. There are 50 guys on the wire better than either.

Dutch Boy has Carlos Carrasco on his DL. He doesn’t understand that if he waits for Carrasco’s return, it’ll be too late. Carlos Carrasco has progressed to ‘land based jogging’. Woo hoo! In the mean time Dutch Boy is 19.5 games below the playoff line with 8 teams to pass. He needs to mortgage the future to try to even get a future. Trade Carrasco.

Dutch Boy doesn’t get that you need to be prompt in replying to trade offers, even if you’re rejecting them. You might need these people as trading partners someday, and you need to keep communications open. He actually wondered aloud why people stopped sending him offers, me and Saget specifically. We couldn’t get an answer.

There’s a fancy math thing DAVID can tell you about called the Dirichlet Drawer Principle. One example that flows from it is that, in a 14-team league, at any one time, there are exactly 14 fantasy baseball players giving “second round value”. Or fifth round value, or whatever. Dutch Boy doesn’t get that if he thinks his hot guys he drafted in, say, the eighth and tenth rounds, is giving second round value, he can’t also say that the guy who was actually drafted in the second round who is horribly slumping is also second-round-value. If everybody thought that way, the league might think there are 40 or 50 second rounders!

Dutch Boy wants full value for both his hot guys and his slumpers. We’re reminded of Ned Yost’s comments when Billy Butler ate himself out of fielding first base three years ago. Butler said he still wanted to play first ahead of Eric Hosmer. “Well,” said Yost, “I want to be an Astronaut.”

Suffice it to say this writer was a little frustrated.

The night took an odd turn on the drive home when Mendoza dropped a bombshell of his own. This desk isn’t in a position to break the news as we think he offered the info on background, but when he makes his move we’ll react.

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