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Mailbag: Crybaby DAVID

May 31, 2016


Hi CL,

What is [DAVID]’s problem?

Name Withheld

Dear No-Name,

Well, he’s had it in for me for years, so nothing new there, but yesterday’s little cry revealed a couple new things, if anyone cares. (I don’t.)

1. He doesn’t like Saget streaming pitching. The quote was “sagets fantasy is impressive, however. been keeping this up for years now. the league waiver wire is refreshed and held by one guy. impressive on it’s [sic] own.”

Well, them’s the rules. Don’t like it? Change the rules or start your own league. Neither of those is easy to do by the way. Most of our league doesn’t want any changes. And I’ve tried starting new leagues with the results going from lukewarm (2014) to full blown, waste of time disaster (this year).

2. Overall, he doesn’t like the increased competition. In the league’s early years we had many weak owners and DAVID had much success via the Woody Allen model (no, not fucking the underaged; Woody’s quote that 80% of life is just showing up). He was better than the clueless owners, including the ones he brought in to squash.

One by one, the weak owners not blood-related to Mendoza were replaced by strong fantasy players and Dutch Boy. Now, DAVID’s reduced to making the playoffs every now and again by getting lucky. When he writes about metaphorically making me a ribbon, those are the ribbons he can no longer earn himself. At least, not in our league. Maybe he should try Yahoo Public where nobody needs to make 20 moves a year to win, never mind 20 moves in two months.

So my little note was the perfect storm. It quietly showed how teams that make moves in our league are leading the way. (Use that to your advantage by the way, OK? Do something for fuck’s sake!) He took that as a personal affront because, well, he’s just not up to it. He shot the messenger, oh well.

Thanks for writing,




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