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[Guest Blog by Kim Jong-Un] SUPER SLEEPER: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

January 28, 2017

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Hola Amigos, I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at you but things have not been OK in the DPRK. Fucking food riots. Was even in the middle of one. Went out last night to see “A Dog’s Purpose” and I mean we all thought it was going to be dinner theatre–nope, just a movie. We were not impressed.

Anyway, CL asked for my deepest fantasy baseball sleeper and I’m here to tell you it’s Jarrod Saltalamacchia… and I’m here to tell you why.

First, don’t come back in September and give me shit that he didn’t hit 40 home runs. He won’t. He’s going to hit 12-18 in 240-300 PA. That’s it. He hasn’t even officially made the Blue Jays yet. He’s on a minor league deal. When he does make the team, and he will, he’ll get 40% of the catcher starts and some pinch hitting and very rarely DH.

Second, this call is for GCBL and other OBP leagues ONLY. He is NOT ROSTERABLE in an AVG league. He hit .171 last year. That’ll bounce back some, say .225, and that SUCKS. But his OBP is always 100 pips above his AVG, and we can live with a .325 OBP if it comes with 15 HR in a part time role.

Now the good stuff:

He plays in Toronto now, so that’s a lot of early games weeknights, and early home starts on both Saturdays and Sundays. No guessing on whether or not he’ll be in the lineup. If he starts, you start him. If not, you’ll be able to bench him almost every time.

When he actually hits it, he makes hard contact.

Saltalamacchia, Hard Contact, 2016: 46%.

Is 46% any good? Let’s see:

Mark Trumbo, 2016 (47 HR) 44%

Chris Carter, 2016 (41 HR) 43%

Edwin Encarnacion, 2016 (42 HR) 43%

You want more?

Mike Trout, 2016 (MVP, 29 HR, .991 OPS) 47%

Big Papi, 2016 (38 HR, led league with 48 doubles and 1.021 OPS) 46%

So there it is. When he plays, he ranks with the best power hitters in MLB for hard contact.  He doesn’t play enough to draft him in the first 20 rounds in a daily league (or at all in a weekly league). It can’t be an AVG league. But if you get Salty in Round 23 as your #2 catcher or back up utility guy and play him when the Jays play him, the production WILL be there.

DPRK forever baby!

–Kim Jong-Un

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