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[Guest Blog by Donald J. Trump] What was Saget Thinking?

March 26, 2017


I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written but I’ve been shopping for Melania’s birthday present. In the end, I got her flowers and a vibrator. If she doesn’t like the flowers, she can go fuck herself.

Anyway, just like I predicted two months ago, Mendoza got the first overall pick, Mike Trout, and Saget paid for it. I’m a little disappointed at how much of a schmuck Saget was here if only because he seems to get suckered each and every year with the pre-draft trading. You’d think he’d learn, but every year someone grabs him by the pussy.

Saget actually paid extra to take Kris Bryant first overall when, at third overall, he could have taken… Kris Bryant. Mendoza was always taking Trout.

Now to be sure, we thought Oquendo was on Arenado, not Kershaw. When Oquendo broke the story an hour before the draft that he was going Kershaw and all pitching, Dutch Boy, Mendoza, and every Mexican I’m going to deport called it Fake News. So Mendoza prepared himself for Goldschmidt, or Curacao’s suggestion of Arenado, with Oquendo taking Trout after the Kershaw head fake. But Oquendo took Kershaw, and there was Mendoza’s plate full of Trout.

Mendoza has clearly read “The Art of the Deal”. Saget dumped draft picks the way Hyundai dumps cars. I just look at this, purse my lips, and wonder what Saget was thinking. Oh, and I’m going to tell Don Jr. that he can sell Saget the Brooklyn Bridge.


(Yes Dutch Boy, I really wrote this myself. Follow me at @realdonaldtrump for more)


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One Comment
  1. elramaba permalink

    I Love You 😚

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