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[Guest Blog by Kim Jong-Un] Sometimes, even I’m Confused.

April 20, 2017

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Hola, Amigos.

I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but Trump has me really pissed off. He’d better sit down and STFU or I’m going to attack the ocean again.

Anyway, maybe you can explain this one to me:

Why the fuck did Starling Marte do the Nandrolone? He’s under Pirates’ control until 2021! The Dee Gordon shit was obvious… Gordon was playing for a contract, and got it before he got caught. But Marte? What does it matter to him if he hits a few more dongs when the risk is suspension? He’s got five fucking years left on his deal.

And no way he took it accidentally–that shit is injection only.

So if you have any ideas, let me know. In the meantime, I’ve got to fix the computer that fires and guides our rockets. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to get replacement parts (and not that knockoff Chinese shit) for a Commodore 64?

 

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