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[Guest Blog by Shawn’s Wife Svetlana:] Shagsters–Mendoza Trade

May 27, 2017

Mendoza gives: Anthony Rizzo, Matt Carpenter, Jose Bautista, Aledmys Diaz

Shagsters gives: Edwin Encarnacion, Corey Seager, Anthony Rendon

 

I don’t follow fantasy baseball but I do have this transcript of the subsequent phonecall between Shawn and Steve to share. Well, the call got translated into Russian back at Directorate S, and now I’m switching it back into English, so a couple words might not be exactly right.

Voice #1: You wren’t kidding. You actually made that trade.

Voice #2: I’m still not even sure what I have.

Voice #1: Huh?

Voice #2: Well I was on a conference call when I was doing it.

Voice #1: That’d explain a LOT.

Voice #2: Well, we just started adding players. He wanted Rizzo, and I wanted Seager, and all of a sudden there were all these players and the deal was done.

Voice #1: You totally had sex in your bum when you didn’t want the sex in the bum.

Voice #2: Why do you say that?

Voice #1: You gave up more players, and the best player–Rizzo.

Voice #2: Well, I don’t want Diaz anymore.

Voice #1: OK, but you still gave Rizzo

Voice #2: I got Encarnacion.

Voice #1: Why do you want Encarnacion.

Voice #2: He’s Rizzo, basically.

Voice #1: Really?

Voice #2: Pretty much.

Voice #1: He’s your speed guy.

Voice #2: I told you I’m never winning thieved bases.

Voice #1: You’re not winning OBP either with Rizzo and Woodworker leaving.

Voice #2: Well, I got Seager who is very good. Much beter than Diaz. And Carpenter’s not going to have second base after this year so what is he really?

Voice #1: James Loney?

Voice #2: Eric Hosmer. And you wouldn’t give me shit for traing Hosmer or Loney.

Voice #1: He does have second base this year…

Voice #2: Well, I got Rendon, and he’s good. On a great team. Seager the same. I think St. Louis is going to fade away.

Voice #1: OK…

Voice #2: Well I had to do something.

Voice #1: OK…

Voice #2: Well I did. What are you doing on the Two Workers Days Off?

Voice #1: Probably working. You?

Voice #2: I’m so excited. We’re going to Riverdance tomorrow night!

Voice #1: OK… that’s the dancing men in the wooden noisy shoes?

Voice #2: Oh yes! Watching them, I almost feel as if I’m ready to come out of the coatroom.

Voice #1: OK…

Voice #2: Anyway, Bautista’s value will never be higher. I had to move him.

Voice #1: Maybe, but you gave way too much. I bet Shaggy is laughing his donkey off.

Voice #2: We will see. You are going to lose to Holland Man this week.

Voice #1: I think so.

Voice #2: This doesn’t upset you?

Voice #1: I’m not happy about it, but my team did almost nothing this week. No reason to get excited.

Voice #2: I am very excited for the Riverdance!

 

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