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[Guest Blog by Donald J. Trump] Mendoza Caught in the Act!

July 17, 2017

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Shawn can’t expose everything by himself. He doesn’t have the resources. So I had somebody on my team do a little opposition research for him. By the magic of hacking technology, we’ve got proof that Mendoza is not just pumping out fake news, but sabotaging other teams with so-called helpful advice that blows up in their faces.

It’s shocking, but it’s true. OK, it’s not shocking: Mendoza’s been up to sleazy shit since the league started but people give him a pass on it. But this isn’t opinion, folks, it’s evidence, and I’m here to take you through the e-mails one by one, with analysis. Here’s the first one, from Memdoza to Saget. Note that at the time Saget was comfortably in second place, headed for a first-round bye. Well, Mendoza felt he had to do something, get that bye for himself, and he knew Shawn wouldn’t fall for his shit, so he went to work on Saget. Here’s the first e-mail, sent through the Yahoo Message system and magically retrieved by my staffer:

Hey dude,

You have just been sent the following note from Mendoza Maniacs (Copper) in the Yahoo Sports Fantasy Baseball league named Great Canadian Baseball League (726)…


Can I ask you something? You have had a great week pitching so far this week, you are close or beating Shawn in almost all of the cats. Yet you are running 4 more guys out here again tonight.

Shawn has to pitch 21 more innings just to get to the minimum. From my perspective, shouldn’t you sit and see if he blows up before potentially wrecking your good stats?

Just wondering what your strategy is?

Steve



Go to League

–Fantasy Baseball Commissioner
https://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1

The Official Fantasy Commissioner Game of

Mlb.com

 

Analysis: Mendoza couldn’t really afford for Saget to split with CL, as neither of them would come back to the pack. So Mendoza sent through some ‘helpful’ advice to try to get Saget to switch strategies — and get destroyed. Mendoza concedes that Saget ‘had a great week pitching so far’… why shouldn’t Saget go for the kill in the pitching side, rather than risk losing a lot of categories by a tiny amount by sitting on what he’s already done? I’ll tell you why: Mendoza wants Saget to lose.

 

Saget replies:

“I like the guys in throwing out there but I won’t stream shitty guys”

Analysis: Well, that seems sound.

 

But Mendoza won’t give up. Mendoza writes back again:

“It’s your team. I was just wondering. Good Luck!”

Analysis: Wow. The “it’s your life” manipulation, the sarcasm, where to begin? Mendoza was pulling every trick in the book.

Saget wrote back, feeling desperate:

“Looks like my bats picked wrong week to go cold and injured”

…and then Saget took Mendoza’s ‘helpful advice’.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? SAGET LOST 11-2.

Shawn came back in the pitching (finished with an ERA of 2.80 etc.) and Saget, who not only knew he was going to have a hard time hitting, fell all the way to fourth place because he took Mendoza’s advice and left pitching points on the table.

Mendoza went on to gloat about it in his weekly Fake News.

Look, you guys do what you want. But as sure as I’m the President of the United States, I’m telling you: beware Mendoza’s ‘helpful’ e-mails full of lies “alternative facts” when he tries to insert himself into your matchup and into your head. Ignore the Fake News.

If it happens to you, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

I gotta go. Kremlin on line 4.

 

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