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It’s great to be the focus of attention.

Yes, it is:

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Mendoza on the Balcony

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The Dirty Commish, earlier.

In case you missed it on the message board yesterday, Mendoza is changing the pitching vcategories next year to further value closers and make eighth inning guys worth less than nothing. How? Changing Saves to Net Saves. So set-up guys can’t get saves, but can lose them.

This was accompanied by Fake News about a vague discussion around a non-existent stat, “Net Holds”. Net Holds will not be implemented because IT DOES NOT EXIST.

This desk objected: it’s just one big scam that favours Mendoza. The eighth ining guy is unrosterable–until he becomes the closer. Then he is infinitely valuable. Most of us have to work, and can’t sit around surfing the ‘net all day waiting for closer changes to break on the newswire. Mendoza can. What a way to sew up a cat your yourself.

That said, we were told our opinion does not matter, specifically. But if someone else something, it might not be too late:

Shawn Young (Curacao Littleleague)

Yesterday, 3:19 PM

Are the other things for-sures too?
Steve Copp (Mendoza Maniacs)

Yesterday, 3:21 PM

Pretty much unless someone changes my mind other than you.

Twins Trade for Jaime Garcia; make Playoff Push.

Oh.

Never mind.

Spirit of Saget: Tall Ships Docked Behind my Building.

They come every three or four years as they loop around the oceans. We’re estimated to get 600,000-700,000 visitors between Friday and Tuesday; I took a few pictures before the crowds showed up this morning, whilst Svetlana assessed the ships’ military capabilities.

More pictures after the break.

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Saget Fourth of July Extravaganza (X: Freaks; Finis)

More after the break.

“Fertility statue…no dice…got the big V years ago” [I also got a vasectomy to stop having kids. Turned out it just changed the colour of the baby. Who knew?–Ed.]

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Cash Bail–Shagsters Trade

Cash Bail gives: Cody Bellinger, Evan Gattis, Kenta Maeda, Hector Neris

Shagsters gives: Chris Sale, Bradley Zimmer, Francisco Cerveli, Hyun-Jin Ryu

A trade that improves both teams. (Something of a rarity this year.)

First let’s scrape off the symmetries in the deal. They swapped decent catcher-eligibles (Gattis; Cervelli). They skipped skitzy Asian arms on the Dodgers (Ryu; Maeda).

Shaggy gets the better call-up so far — Bellinger hasn’t gone deep in three games, and he’s such a monster that this qualifies as news.

On the other hand, Sale’s better on his off days than Neris sometimes is when he actually throws. Neris, better since the All Star Break, nominally remains the Phils’ closer but was recently called upon in non-save situations on back-to-back days. Joaquin Benoit got a weird save last night with the Phils tacking on in the bottom of the eighth; without the insurance, maybe Neris would have gotten the ninth? Neris isn’t actually bad, but the Phillies are, so his upside will always be limited.

Shaggy was woefully light on bats–fixed.

Kim needs to do something, anything to try to make the playoffs. A low-inning play with Sale, good matchups, and relievers is a long shot, but it’s all she has left.

Svetlana’s Wiretap (July 27)

Some of the wording may not be exact as it gets sent to the Centre, translated into Russian, then we translate it back to English.

Voice 1: Hello.

Voice 2: What is the shaking?

Voice 1: Not much

Voice 2: Are you still in shock about my trade?

Voice 1: Yeah wow.

Voice 2: I honestly didn’t know he liked the Royals.

Voice 1: That sounds like Fake News.

Voice 2: No I really didn’t.

Voice 1: He’s been in the league forever.

Voice 2: Well, I didn’t know. And I didn’t think he’d take it. I thought he’d counter.

Voice 1: Why? Because it’s lopsided?

Voice 2: I thought he’d want an out-in-the-field. I have too many out-in-the-fields.

Voice 1: So why didn’t you offer him one?

Voice 2: I don’t know.

Voice 1: Oh, have sexual intercourse off.

Voice 2: Seriously I didn’t know he liked the Royals.

Voice 1: But you didn’t offer him an out-in-the-fields.

Voice 2: No. Of course Duffy is pitching much better since he came off the Disabled Listings. I think that must be what he was looking at.

Voice 1: And he pitched well again last night.

Voice 2: Of course, he was still mine for that start.

Voice 1: Of course.

Voice 2: Happy Times. I needed it. Cashing Bail is off to a good start.