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Mailbag: Hurricane Irma Edition

Hi CL,

Your friends in Curacao OK from the Huricane?

Just Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Everybody’s fine. Curacao is too far South to get even dribbles from most hurricanes. The last serious storm there was in 1913.

That said, the Dutch Islands in the N. Caribbean got it really bad. Don’t know about Statia. Saba is wrecked, but calm. Sint Maarten, if reports trickling into Curacao are to be believed, has turned into an extended scene from The Purge:

Gangs with machetes are roaming the streets. If your house wasn’t wrecked, they’re coming to loot, and you don’t want to be home as they’re not leaving witnesses behind.

The French sent in a couple companies of soldiers stationed in Guadeloupe. Don’t bring a machete to a gun fight–unless you’re fighting the French. They’re staying in barracks.

French and Dutch Special Forces (the northern half of the island is French; the southern half of the island is Dutch) are due in today or tomorrow to try to restore order.

Scary shit.



Well, unless you’ve been living under a rock…

21button.jpeg (Just to be clear: I like the Graphic, but the Indians’ streak is legit.) 

Here it is, folks: having broken the AL record yesterday and tying the MLB record in the procress, the Cleveland Indians go for the longest winning streak in baseball history tonight against the Royals.


So an open question: is (North) America living under a rock, or an NFL shield, or something else?

It’s a story, the Indians, but not of the scale I expect.

Why isn’t this the biggest sports story not of the day, but of the (non-Olympic) year? Why isn’t the general media breathlessly reporting every trip that Francisco Lindor takes to the bathroom?

A quick google-search reveals that more stories have been written this year about the Cleveland Indians’ controversial logo than about the streak.

A few possibilities:

  1. Baseball just isn’t as relevant as it used to be (as, say, in the days of the screengrab above)
  2. It’s a feel-good story, and the media hates feel-good stories if it can run a feel-bad story.
  3. Cleveland’s a small market, and what national interest there is re: Cleveland is focused on Lebron James
  4. NFL/Hurricane/DACA/Kim Jong-Un/Kim Kardashian/etc.

If I knew, I’d tell you. Opinions?



Open Letter to Copper


I’m not going to litter the message board further because most people rightly don’t give a shit. And they shouldn’t have to. But I will put this here as my last statement on the matter, in response to your note. I don’t want the “Last Word”–feel free to take it in the Comments here, on the Message Board, or anywhere else.

You write in full:

Shawn, for someone who consistently referred to me as the “dirty commish” and frequently tried to make out I was spreading “fake news” your comments are ridiculous.

If you don want to play anymore fine but don’t make up reasons….

and here’s my answer:

  1. The ‘Dirty Commish’ stuff: This goes back 10 (15?) years to your football league and I think it was Bub who started it. (I’m not sure of the exact circumstances but I think English dropped Drew Brees and you reversed his drop?) I most certainly never started calling you that until you started referring to yourself that way jokingly (usually on the phone). “Well of course Josh/Dave/etc. didn’t like my trade, but I’m the ‘Dirty Commish’.” You called yourself that so much, I thought you took it not just as a joke, but as a harmless in-joke when I said it. I know now you didn’t take it as a harmless in-joke. I was wrong. I’m sorry.
  2. The best evidence I have that I don’t think and never thought you’re Dirty is that I’m eager to play in your basketball league.
  3. As to the ‘Fake News’ stuff, I thought that was more of the same. Again I was wrong and again I am sorry. You called me ‘Donald Trump’ more than a few times on chatbox, so I replied as Trump might: by calling your predictions/statements ‘Fake News’. I thought I was responding in-character. (Watch Trump’s press availabilities: that’s all he’s got.) Often, I even agreed 100% with your statements, and figured I could give them more ‘oomph’ by calling them Fake News. You didn’t see it that way, and I clearly didn’t notice. That’s on me, and I’m sorry.
  4. I’m not ‘making up reasons’ why I don’t want to play in your baseball league. It’s Just Dave. I told you that on the phone ten days ago and you seemed OK with that. Well at least you didn’t accuse me of making stuff up. If you think I’m making stuff up now, I assure you I’m not. Your claim that I’m making up reasons takes me by surprise, because you talked me out of quitting this league last year over the same issue.
  5. Dave is a bully. In time, with me not around, he’ll pick another target in your league. Maybe that target will have thicker skin than I do. But, eventually, it’ll get just as bad. A great deal of our misunderstanding is on me, as detailed above. For that, I’m sorry. Looking ahead, that doesn’t change that if you don’t get Dave to clean up his act (given how we know him in real life, this seems unlikely), you won’t be able to say you’re surprised when this happens again.


SOURCE: Jose Oquendo to quit GCBL

(If it turns out to be true, that’s just more top-shelf reporting by GCBL Blog. If it turns out to be false, well, we were fed more Fake News.)

“I like sitting around watching my bulldog lick his bag. I wish I could do that,” Jose didn’t say. “I can’t handle the competition in this league, and the league can’t handle the visual competition of a dog licking his own nuts. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time,” he didn’t add.

Vaya con dios.





Yahoo Down; No good…

Screen Shot 2017-09-12 at 8.44.35 AM.png

Coachin’ Up the Coach Bracket

Bah, had to turn off CNN. Some Cuban begging for money for Hurricane relief. Jackass had three boats on his lawn for god’s sake. Screw that rich bastard.

Anyway, I was thinking (very briefly) about this year’s Coach Bracket teams and what they needed to do to make the playoffs next year. Here’s what each needs to do differently:

Nookie: Trade more. And if you’ve got a chip like Sale who you want to move, trade him at peak value–don’t wait til late July where you get 75 cents on the dollar.

Dutch Boy: Beg Steve for advice, every single day. Beg. And take his advice, even if you can’t quite grasp it. You may think he’s just some dummy who works at the dump, but he has a masters in Chemistry and two years of calculus: Steve gets the math of fantasy baseball quite easily, and since you don’t, you should get the help of someone who does.

Bautista Baby: Keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll be fine. Rookies struggle in this league the first year, but you look like you’re figuring it out.

Saget: OPEN YOUR GODDAMN EYES ON THURSDAY. You wanna stream? Fine. But when it actually fucking works in the first half of the week, shut it down and bank a huge victory. Don’t punch yourself out and piss ratio categories away.

Cash Bail: Kim, baby, I love you. And I love the Sawx. And you love the Sawx. And they’re going to be awesome next year again as all the Bs get a year older. But you know what? Draft the Sawx! Don’t overpay for them halfway through the season. Get them in March when all the dumb Blue Jays fans in our league are devaluing them.

Coach: You’re lucky Jose’s in the league to keep you in the top-12 most years. Can’t help you, sorry.


Summer of Saget (VIII): Cal at UNC Football; Some Weird Taxidermist’s

Much more after the break. Saget went in a Cal (that’s UC Berkeley) cap and managed to leave the stadium alive. Had it been basketball, his odds would have been longer. Saget grew up I’m guessing 90 minutes’ drive from Cal.

It’s hard for Canadians to grasp just how big college football is in some parts of the US. UNC isn’t really a football school, still drew 49,500 for this non-conference matchup. Cal, a 13-point dog, won 35-30.

We open with “some guy just doing his job”:




Read more…